Sunday, November 21, 2010

I'm falling for my best friend's girl, and she's sending me mixed messages, help me read them?

Apolagies about the length, I figure the best way to capture my questions were to capture the entire story in detail.

When nessecary, I will refer to my best friend as 'the guy' and his girlfriend as 'the girl'.

The situation I describe is as follows;



I have feelings for my my best friend's girlfriend, and I am almost certain she reciprocates these feelings. She's gorgeous, intelligent and we have a similar sense of humour. She's embodies the word 'amazing'.



Eleventh Grade (sophomore year) started three weeks ago in Australia, I had been spending alot of time with The Guy previous to the start of school, so naturally I sat with him during the lunch times. He often spoke with adoration of The Girl, but I hardley expected her to be as she was. Seemingly out of The Guy's league.



He dresses in a slumly manner, ripped and torn track pants and faded tee-shirts. He has a kind face though, a trustworthy face. She dresses with style and pseudo-class, high waisted skirts, floral print dresses, all designer. Naturally.



A couple of weeks went by. By the second week of our relationship, me and The Girl had grown frighteningly closer and had developed our own in-jokes and an entirely unique brand of witticisms. She entrusted me with several secrets of hers, some were rather petty, but others would have taken great amounts of courage to produce.



By the end of the third week of our relationship, this week, she had confessed things to me that she had only told her boyfriend. She told me that it was easier to talk to me about these things, than it was to talk to The Guy.



On the Friday of this week (today is Sunday), the three of us, The Girl, The Guy and I attended a house party. We went as a group, but The Guy spent most of the time wrestling around with some old acquaintances. The Girl seemed anxious about something the entire night. She didnt seem to be having as much fun as would be expected from a girl by her description. It was getting close to midnight, by this time we had exchanged several long glances, smiles. She approached me, took my arm and asked me if I wanted to go for a walk, I eagerly accepted her invitation.



We didnt wander far from the house, after 5 minutes of walking we found a pleasant patch of dry grass to sit down on. She has this adorable face that she subconsciously puts on when she's talking about something serious. Without looking into my eyes, she told me that she couldnt stop thinking about me, and that I had been in her thoughts alot lately. She talked about how I was so easy to talk to compared to The Guy. Shortly after she gauged my shock-awe reaction, she looked at me quizzically and said; 'it's not like I have a crush on you or anything'. She then went on to ask me if I had feelings for anyone at our school, I gave her an indirect answer.



The following day we showered at the house and then made our way to another of our friend's houses, as I had previously mentioned that I didnt want to return home until atleast Sunday. We spent most of the day smoking marijuana and drinking pre-mixed vodka, just the four of us. We were running short on cigarettes, so The Girl suggested that we shared one. We went outside and started another meaningful conversation. This one far more comical than the last. Eventually the conversation turned onto her unwillingness to compliment males outside of her relationship.



Before I could take another draw of my cigarette, she started to had unleash wave after wave of complimentary statements such as; 'Your hair is great. I love your style, your persona. I love the way you carry yourself, I love the way you manage to be so easy to talk to.' She then asked me what I thought about her. If there was a perfect opportunity to tell her about my feelings, it was then and there. I tried to put my feelings into words, but I struggled to make a sentance. In a matter of seconds I had realised that it was a futile attempt. So I settled with; 'If I were you, I'd try to achieve a lower bodyfat percentage.' Of course I did not mean what I said, she has a gorgeous figure. Before I even realised what I had done, she burst into tears. She avoided conversation with me for the rest of the day.



I am unsure of several of the things she has done. This is the first time I've felt like this about a girl since I was in the seventh grade. Sleeping with them once and never speaking to them again, is my approach to women. These are almost entirely new feelings for me and I dont know how to deal with them.



I am still uncertain if she has feelings for me or not.

Does she like me?

What actions should I take?I'm falling for my best friend's girl, and she's sending me mixed messages, help me read them?
Trust me, from experience.

Relationships are hard, its obvious this girl and the guy are having issues, if she is spending too much time with you instead of her guy, you are both heading down the wrong path.



Think of your best and worst case scenario,

Is it worth losing your best mate over a girl? I think not.

And starting a relationship, whilst still being involved never ever ends well, you never gain the trust of the other partner because you were being dishonest in the first place.



In answer to your question, yes she may have feelings for you, but she is still with 'the guy' so I can't say that they would mean much.



I say support your mate and put her to the back of your mind, there are plenty of fish in the sea as they say, and the right one will come around eventually,

At least you know you are capable of having feelings for someone other than just sex.



Be happy and enjoy life, worry less love more.



I thought a long question deserved my long answer/thoughts.

Hope I helped a little.I'm falling for my best friend's girl, and she's sending me mixed messages, help me read them?
Wow, to long dude, didn't read. But never cheat on a mates girlfriend and if she's sending you messages, tell you're mate what she's doing or call her a s**t so she stops talking to you.
Amazing, simply brilliant, slug it out
put it in her backdoor. A true friend would understand.
get over it dude, she is not meant to be yours.
Dude keep away from her .. She is ur best friends ladie . U already Noe that that's a golden rule .. U don't go the homies ladie.. Just go fr sum other girl even though ur not gonna want too.. But if u try too go or her ur gonna get In gifts and end up loseing a friend anyway she might be just messing with u ... If I were u I would just back up an not mess with her
Whoah I dont even have to read this essay length question to say....



you have put waaaay to much though into this....



the fact is that if a girl likeyl you...its very clear and day
1) Girls will have no idea what they want in terms of males until they are at the very least 22 yrs old...



2) She probably likes you and your best friend and other guys.. Again she has no idea what she wants for long term.



3) I am not saying that it is impossible, just highly unlikely that it will last.. So ask yourself, ';Do you value your 'best friends' friendship more than a chance to be with a girl that most likely will not last due to females inability to know the future and what they want?'; or do you not care about your relationship with your friend.



Bro's before Ho's is universal man-code



You are treading thin ice in regards to overstepping your boundaries of friendship with your mate. If you do not care about that relationship, then go for it, but nothing is ever certain..



In fact if you ignore her, she will want you more... Sigh, high school girls are so predictable.



Answer is NO, if you value your friendship with your mate, don't even think about it... If you would sacrifice that for a brief dating period with this girl, then go for it!! Choice is yours.
yeah im pretty sure she likes u since she complimented u alot, but its good u told her off like that because shes ur best friends girl and the best thing to do would be to back off...

u probably have more intense feelings for her cuz of the chase, and like cuz u cant have her, and because its wrong. at least, thats what i think. i always am in that position lol.

shes just a girl... there will be more, its the friends that really matter...relationships come and go, true friends stay...i learned that the hard way.

plus, if she leaves ur best friend for u, and u two break up, then what? then u lost ur best friend and the girl.

id just say, dont do anything you think ull regret later.

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