Ladies, could I get your advice? 21 yr old college senior. Girl advice.?

First, I know this is in the Wedding section, but everyone always gives quality advice and the women here have helped me tremendously in the past. So here's my situation. This might be a long read, but I'll try to keep it as short as possible. No one has to read it but if you would like to help, I would really appreciate your input.





I'm 21, in my 4th year of college. I've liked this girl for a few years. She's always flirted with me whenever we see each other. About a month ago, I asked her to hang out, but she had plans already with a few of her girlfriends. She asked me to come along, so I did. We went to a bar in her hometown. She knows everyone at this bar. Her ex boyfriend, who broke up with her 2 weeks before, works across the street at a restaurant. When he got off of work, he came over to the bar and texted her from across the room. He was playing head games all night and she was falling for it. I had no idea this was going on until the end of the night when she and I left the bar and were walking back to her car when she started to cry. She also had a bit to drink, so I drove her home where she could be with her mom and her girlfriends. I had my best friend pick me up. Before I left, I asked her to come outside and talk to me. Now, this girl has always told me her boy problems. She's been treated badly in the past by guys. She's always told me how attractive I am and how she wishes she could find a boy like me, so I felt good about what I was about to say. I told her that when you're young, everything feels like the end of the world. It's not. It's just the beginning. She might have to meet a few more jerks, but one day, she's going to meet a boy who treats her the way that she deserves to be treated. She told me again how she wishes she could find a guy like me. So then I told her that I've liked her for quite some time and asked her out on a date. She said that she would love to and that she's had a crush on me since forever. I was so happy. Nothing ever felt so right. When I left her house, we texted for a few hours that night until we both went to bed and then talked the next day while I was at a football game and while she was out shopping with her mom and girlfriends. Things were going really well and I set a date for the coming week. She asked me to hang out the next day and we did. After she got out of class, we got coffee together, but her friend was with us, so there really wasn't any talk about our feelings. We just kept it a light conversation. She texted me after to tell me she had fun and even bought me a little keychain haha. I thought it was cute. Then.. the day before we were supposed to go out on our date, I wake up to a text from her saying that she's been feeling kind of crappy and is confused. She said that she thinks I'm very handsome and likes me a lot but still cares for her ex boyfriend (he broke up with her) and she realized that she needs to just do things for herself for a while. She said that she was sorry, that she doesn't want me to hate her, and again said she was really confused. I was half asleep and didn't hear my phone go off, and she sent me another text basically repeating that she feels like crap and doesn't want me to hate her. I asked her why she would think that. I'm not like that at all. She said that she just needs time to think. She sent me ANOTHER text saying ';I don't want you to think that I don't like you because I do like you. I just have to be alone for a bit.'; I said it was okay, thanked her for being honest with me, and said that if things didn't work out with her ex, to call me and we would go out. Then we went a whole month without talking to each other. Then randomly, I bumped into her as I was walking to class, and we talked briefly. She told me how she saw New Moon at the movies and loved it and that she was now going to her friends room to hang out. That was it. I've asked a few of my close friends for advice and they've all told me different things. One says I should let her come to me and the other says that I should text her after Thanksgiving break to see how she's doing and to see if she'd like to get coffee after class.





My question is: Which advice do I take? And if I do ask her to hang out, should I ask her at the end where this is going? Because on one hand, I'm waiting for her. I realize I can't wait forever, but I would like to know where this is going, if I should wait or if I should move on. Let me repeat that I've liked her for a few years and she has also admitted to liking me for a few years, too. She made it very clear to me that she likes me but just needs time. And when I told her that I could take a hint, she said it wasn't a hint. so I'm going to assume that she wasn't trying to let me down gently and that she would like to go out with me eventually.





Very sorry for the long read. No one has to read but if you would like to help, I would really appreciate your input. Thanks.Ladies, could I get your advice? 21 yr old college senior. Girl advice.?
That was a long read, and I was just about to head to bed but you are so polite that I had to answer!





From my own experience as a girl, she may like you but I don't know if anything's going to happen, so though you really like her, I say don't wait for her. You could ask her to hang out, even if it's just in a group setting so she knows you still like her, even just as a friend. Some of us girls can get a little emotional and may over-analyze things, so maybe she's worried that you hate her because you two haven't talked in a month. Next time you are heading out, text or call her and invite her. The closer you become again, maybe the more she realizes how great you are, or both of your feelings may be resolved and you can move on too. If you want to ask her on another date, I'd wait until after Thanksgiving, and do something casual to test the water. Ask her for coffee, and if that goes well, meet for lunch, and if that goes well then ask her for a proper dinner date. She seems like she needs to take it slow.





Good luck, and I hope all turns out well for you!Ladies, could I get your advice? 21 yr old college senior. Girl advice.?
wow that was a really long read!!! but honestly...i think you should let her do her own thing...you always being there is her rebound... when things r hard your always going to b there...yea that's a good thing, but you shouldn't b putting yourself out there like that. treat her as another friend. i no you've liked her 4 a while now, but honestly if things were meant to b, it would of happened already. you guys are toooo close now that you would most likely ruin the friendship %26amp; relationship if things don't work out. i had a friend just like you...i want nothing to do w/ him now!!! he always liked me %26amp; things were going too well w/ my bf %26amp; he didn't like that so things didn't work out in his favor %26amp; now it's like we each don't exist. well...good luck %26amp; i hope whatever ur decision is that it works out 4 the best =)
Cut her loose utterly. You can't 'be friends' with someone that you have feelings for - it never works out. Just because you've 'liked each other' doesn't mean a thing unless it's backed up with concrete actions. You had the barely beginnings of something, but she put the kibosh on it because she can't handle it yet. End of story, hon.





No texts. No calls. No contact.





Let her go, and move onto someone better. If she contacts you in the future, take it as it comes. If you've met someone new, then so be it.





Don't let this wishy-washy little girl dictate how you live your life.





You need a woman - not a girl.
I totally understand her need to be alone. It's perfectly natural, especially after getting her head messed with by a stupid boy (the exboyfriend, not you obviously!)





I think the best thing to do is arrange some time for you two to hang out in the company of others. Invite her and her girlfriends out with you and a couple other guys to get some coffee, have a picnic, go to the movies, or go for a hike. Something with no pressure. Don't ask her out again until you see her starting to change. When you see that she is becoming more confident, laughs more easily, and smiles wider, that means that she's probably over whatever awful thing the exboyfriend did and she will be more receptive to your advances.





You seem like a really good guy and I wish you luck!