Is it ever ok to date your sister's crush?

I was recently faced with a situation and it got me to thinking, so here I am wanting to get opinions of other people.



Here's the story:



About a year ago this guy (19) started flirting with my sister (23) and they shared a few late night phone conversations. Naturally she developed a crush on him and almost instantly he was gone. It took her some time to get over him, but she did.



Lately he has been coming around again but this time his flirtation has been directed at me (I'm 27). I am the type who will play around and joke with anyone. Well today he asked me out on a date, and to not hurt his feelings I told him I would think about it. I immediately called my sister and told her what had happened, and she suggested that I should go out with him. I personally think it is a bad idea. 1st of all because he led my sister to believe he was interested in her, 2nd because I know there is an unwritten rule about doing this, and 3rd he really isn't my type, and lastly but most importantly I am too old to date someone his age.



I basically have a lot of reasons why I wouldn't go out with this guy, but I couldn't help but wonder if it is ever ok to go out with someone your sister once had a serious crush on. Has anyone ever done this? How did it turn out? How did you feel? Did she ever know? What is your relationship like now?Is it ever ok to date your sister's crush?
i personally think that this is never an ok thing to do. First of all, even though your siste rmay have told you to go ahead and go out with the guy, that doesnt mean she is actually ok with it. If she really liked him as much as you say she did, then it is not a good idea for you to even be conversating with him, because evn though she may hide it she will have some resentment towards you. I myself was in a situation similar, i was seeing this guy, we nevr really dated but we hung out more than a few times and i reallly liked him, well after a while we kind of stopped talking and it was more on and off, then one day i put two and two together and found out that my sister was conversating with him. she didnt know i knew, probably still doesnt, and even though i have a boyfriend right now, i still felt very hurt and betrayed about it, and it did change the way i felt about my sister a little, even though you were up front with yours and didnt try to hide it, she still may feel hurt over the fact that he likes you over her right now. but her pride won't let her admit that, so she pretends it doesnt matter when deep down it does. you just never know, so the best thing to do is stay away from him, its just not worth it in the long run.Is it ever ok to date your sister's crush?
no, let it go. I actually read your question, and you didn't really mention how you thought she'd react, which means if it took her along time to get over him, then she probably wouldn't be hurt even to this day if you went out. I wouldnt' do it, and he's a jerk for coming around again.



Here's how you DONT end up on Springer:

';Can any good come out of this?';



answer in your situation: probably not, so let it go.
i didnt even have to read the entire thing, yes its wrong!!
no, of course, not. not okay. your cousin yes. but not your sister.



and no description needed to answer this question. no excuse. sorry, harsh, but that's really how it is.
Nooooo... you and your sister will start to get into fights, and pretty soon, she will move out...
You need to talk with your sister and ask her about her feelings about this. No one in the world can tell you if it is okay until you talk with your sister.
um i think thats mean like my sister would kill me if i did that. seems like ur sister is understandable about it on the outside but really does she feel comfortable about it on the inside? i think not
Have you ever seen the Jerry Springer Show. If you have then you know how this will turn out.
Im a guy but that is very dirty.

I would prlly not even talked to a girl if he did that to my brother
I wouldn't do it because I'd be afraid to hurt my sister's feelings, even if she said it was OK. I would hate to taint a relationship with my sister over a boy. If I did, I'm sure she would eventually forgive me, but I wouldn't want the drama.
If she says its okay just do it 鈥?its one date, your not marrying the guy
Why are you and your sister hanging out with such a young guy?



He seems to be abit disrespectful, a guy who doesnt consider your sisters feelings..and hits on you is wrong and classless.



But on your side, if your sister gives you the go ahead and they never dated or had anything serioues go for it. But if they ever dated, you should never do it.



I never get involved with friends or familys ex's, especially if they dated for a long time even if it was years later.
Well i had a crush on a guy last year, and we was flirting together, nearly went for a kiss and then he pushed me away and said what you doing i like your sis not you.

He then about a week later sent me a text asking me to ask my sister out for him, i was so upset so because i wanted to be a good sister i asked her and she said yes.

Even though i asked her for him i still felt upset and betrayed.



I would tell you not to you could really hurt her, plus shes your sister she will ALWAYS be there, his a guy he wont always be there.
NEVER!!!!!
never ok
If you really, really like him (which it sounds like you don't) then maybe test it out by getting to know him as a friend, but if you don't really like him or you don't think you would be comfortable dating him and actually committing to that, then just say no. If you want, you can explain why, but i prefer the direct, ';I'm sorry, but I'm not interested';. but ultimately, it's up to you and your feelings and whether or not you are willing to possibly sacrifice you and your sisters relationship
I don't think it is a good idea for you to go with him. I'm sure your sister is just saying it is okay but if it was hard for her to get over him i'm sure she still has some feelings for him. He seems like quite the player to me. I've never had this experence. But one of my closest friends likes the guy i like and is trying to be flirty with him. It is very annoying and hurtful. Now she is trying to change My feelings about him and also she is lying about the whole thing and saying i only like him because she does. So i don't think either of you should be with him as it is the same with my friend and i.
I suggest you don't date him. If he isn't your type it's probably not a good idea, and would likely be weird. If you do really like him than I would ask your sister first, to see if she is really okay with it. But best not to go out with him with a situation like yours (and the age thing might get awkward).
i have never went out with my sisters crush but i have date my bestfriend/roomates crush. their is really no right or wrong answer to this question it depends on your realtionship with you sister. have a serious talk to her and see how she really feels. she might say it is ok but maybe there are more feelings there then she is leading on. my opinion is why should anyone have to live my these superficial rules??? who came up with these??? and why does everyone have to follow them??? logical speaking if he likes you and not her then she is wasting her time anyways. if your feeling is mutual then go ahead just make sure that your sister understands your situation.



but it doesn't seem like your feelings are mutual so i would just forget about anything more then a friendship with him. this way you can keep him and your sister on your positive side.
Well clearly this guy isn't a good guy, he's just trying to play you like he did with your sister. So no i wouldn't say its ok this time.